Some people get to go to McDonalds after the hospital

   Well everyone, for this post, I am going to share my favorite term that I learned from social work school, which I completed in 2016. The term is "disenfranchised grief." I think that one of the most talked about ideas right now is the idea of "privilege," which has to do with unrightful societal benefits.  That wasn't really the idea that most resonated in my soul, but when I stumbled upon the term "disenfranchised grief" in an article about people who have had to go to jail, I felt that years of thinking had finally found a representation in another context.  The term has also been used in other articles, and I think it was first thought of by someone named Doka in 1989.  It was weird for it to be just a sidebar that I gleaned from reading about other topics, because to me it almost epitomizes what I think is a core struggle for all kinds people, including everyone who is hurt by things like privilege.

   Disenfranchised grief refers to the uncomforted mourning of people who have losses and suffering that the people around them and the rest of the society either do not care about or do not understand.  I think almost everyone can relate, but for some people, it is a defining feature of their whole lives or of certain major experiences.  People with addictions often have loss upon loss and not only have no sympathy, but take a lot of blame for their problems which happened from a spiral that at some point, they had little control to prevent. Legal troubles and going to jail or being in the military and having family life disrupted can be situations that are disenfranchised, or even "anti-franchised," though people in the military are often called heroes and there might be some support that others might not have.

   Really, anyone in any situation can find their pain deemed irrelevant by other people when it is never mentioned in church sermons, or never mentioned in the media, and when personally no friends seem to truly be there for them.

   I think that even with this concept that almost anyone can probably relate to on some level, there are people who seek out those who need consolation, and a lot of people can eventually find someone who cares and understands. I think that is what social work and mental health services are really about, and I remember getting training for a Crisis Line and the leader told us that what counts as a crisis is different for different people.  I mean that is so simple and yet it is so foundational if people really want to show any kind of compassion for anyone else in the world.

   I wanted to share it on my blog early on, because I think even the existence of a term like that reverses some of the damage and offers "franchise" both to all the neglected losses, and to the additional heartbreak of disenfranchised grief itself.