Racism CBT pie chart

 

Racism Pie Chart

 

bad slices: systemic, privilege from history, appropriation and betrayal, personal discrimination and ignorance

good slices: education and appreciation, service and giving, friendship and justice, mutual suffering

 

other: OCD

Well everyone, this post is a little out of the ordinary, but I want to share something that really helped me have a more reasonable picture of my own guilt and innocence in regards to racism and the accusations that are mixed in our culture.  I am very affected by it and have had to face the issue a lot while navigating life in New York City during social work school, volunteering, and living in my neighborhood where I am a minority but still part of a powerful majority in the surrounding culture of United States, at least so far. Racism can be as simple as not discriminating, or it can be as complicated as a whole economy and history.  

 

 Anyway, it has driven me crazy as I constantly either mentally defend myself, change allegiances in my mind, manage mental illness symptoms, and try to avoid hurting people.  

 

So I just wanted to share a tool that helped me not keep blaming myself for all the world’s problems in an irrational way. 

 

This is adapted from CBT pie chart ideas that help people avoid “all or nothing” logical mistakes and “black and white thinking.”  I think some people have had to think literally about black and white for all their lives and they want for other people to also have to deal with the racial suffering.  So in a way I will gladly take my share of it, but in another way, I think I have to literally draw the line and say okay, I am not going to throw my life away because of guilt and I am going to try to find some sanity in my life and social participation.

 

So I made a racism pie chart for myself, to see where I am bad or good, and to try to get at least a snapshot of a view that is more complex than just thinking I am bad or good, which usually makes me feel pretty bad.  

 

The yellow dots are just on the sections where it is positive things that can help people.  For this chart, you can see that I am probably just over the majority line in terms of being better at helping than hurting, though the OCD slice could sometimes be a problem instead of a good sign of caring about how my thoughts affect other people. 

 

I don’t think this chart is exactly representative of me but it is a sample of how people could assess themselves and see that really, racism probably is a major problem that needs to be personally fought against as much as possible every day, but also is part of a complex life where goodness is bound to prevail.

 

I just want to say, too, that is chart is not exactly accurate for me and just an idea that I am sharing for other people who might have some more extreme slices in either direction as the ones I have mentioned in this chart.

 

One other thing to notice about it is to think about which things are the things I have control over. I have a lot of control over thoughts and judgment but not total control. I have a lot of control over what I read and media but not total control. I do not have much control over history but I have some say in what I do with my benefits from it. I have some control of system participation but some is kind of forced compared to how some of the good slices would shrink if I refused to participate by going to jail or killing myself.

 

I think the slice I did for resentments and ignorance is actually a bigger percentage than what I have in real life but I think this ends up being kind of the defining slice where people really need to try to overcome that side of themselves while working hard to expand some of the other positive slices.